Rise to Sunshines

I told my parents about being HIV this past month, they are more upset that why me and why now? Amongst hundreds of other questions.

I didn’t want to point fingers at them and just wanted their support but in some ways they have realized their wrong doing, in it, that by pushing me further in closet when I was trying to come out, they created an environment that I sought my love in quick actions of sex gratification and fake love.

But mainly it is my own faults too, for not recognize my issues at home and perhaps moving out, before things would get this way. I practiced safe sex for as long as I remember and I would only seek a safe sex, perhaps it was though oral or other means that I contracted the HIV but I’ll never know.

one good pointer an HIV person gave me was not to waste your time thinking who gave this to you or why you, chances are that they didn’t know they are positive and didn’t know they were jeopardizing me or anyone else for that matter, secondly its had psychologically to just think about who and how, it just drains your energy and you’ll always be reminded and live in remorse.

I have accepted being gay since I was 18 and now I’ve accepted that I’m HIV person.

I used to think HIV was a death sentence, as I looked at it that way and was always scared of the acronyms, H I V. now I’ve accepted that it’s no difference between HIV and other chronically illness, like diabetic or Parkinson, you take medication every day and you live your regular life.

the extend that medicine has moved since the 1980 is phenomenal and its perhaps for the best and maybe in the next 10 years we will see a vaccine or a cure for HIV.

The pointer I can give to someone who is gay and reading this, is to find out you issues about gay identity and try not to fill the void spaces with meaningless and anonymous sex. Rather by bonding with yourself and coming out to people around you who matter to you, be true to yourself and don’t jeopardizes your health and your future for a quick moment of gratification which soon fades.

And if your reading this post and living with HIV or recently diagnosed, know that you’re no different than anyone else, you deserve to live the rest of your life like anyone else, don’t harm yourself or hate yourself as things will get better, get out there, as there is HIV support groups to join, go and get a HIV specialist Dr that can help you grow both in the field and knowledge about HIV and see others that are HIV and you’ll see they are no different than an average normal non HIV person.


Go harness what your life has to offer as you’re worth it.